I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
