You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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