we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
