Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
