Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
