the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize