Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
