I wish life had little blips of pornography
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
