your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
