you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
