just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Randomize
