i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
