I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Randomize
