My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize