Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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