I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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