You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize