I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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