Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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