i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
