It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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