youre lurking in front of me
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
