Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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