it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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