So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
