Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Randomize
