What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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