Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
