No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
