you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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