omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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