For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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