i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
