I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I want you more than these girls want KFC
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
