arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
