NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize