I must be too annoying 4 u.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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