btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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