mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
