maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
