apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
