im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
