I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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