I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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