***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
