I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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