we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
