If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
me + whiskey = a bad person
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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