Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
