I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
