I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize