I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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