So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
