party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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