First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
operation harelip BJ is a go
love makes seman taste better
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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