Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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