she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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