i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Did we literally take a cab across the street
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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