In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
