wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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